Renaissance #24: Faith Under Fire

by | Sep 28, 2025 | Sermon/Meeting/Discussion Transcripts

 

This is a transcript of a Bible study group conversation about dealing with stress, spiritual trials, and faith-based responses to overwhelming circumstances. The participants include Thomas Abshier (who seems to be leading the discussion), Charlie Gutierrez (who appears to be going through a stressful situation), Armond Boulware,  and Leonard Hofheins.

The main themes from this conversation are:

  1. Dealing with overwhelming stress and circumstances beyond our control
  2. The role of action vs. prayer in difficult situations
  3. Spiritual turning points and complete surrender to God
  4. Different types of prayer – casual vs. desperate crying out to God
  5. The physiological and spiritual effects of stress and action
  6. Biblical perspectives on authority and spiritual powers
  7. The importance of having biblical foundations for decision-making
  8. Personal testimonies of God’s intervention in crisis situations

 

Faith Under Fire: Biblical Responses to Overwhelming Stress and Life’s Uncontrollable Circumstances

The conversation among these men of faith reveals profound truths about how believers can navigate the most overwhelming circumstances life presents. Through personal testimonies, biblical reflection, and practical wisdom, they explore the tension between human action and divine sovereignty, offering a framework for maintaining spiritual equilibrium when everything seems to be falling apart.

The Spectrum of Human Suffering

Charlie Gutierrez opens with a sobering reality check about the gradations of human suffering: “There’s different levels of stress. Going bankrupt is pretty stressful, but it’s not as bad as divorce. Divorce is pretty bad, but it’s not as bad as death.” This acknowledgment that suffering exists on a spectrum helps provide perspective while not minimizing genuine pain.

The conversation doesn’t shy away from the most extreme examples. Charlie shares the devastating story of a man who, overwhelmed by legal warfare and family court battles, ultimately took his own life. Leonard describes watching his wife hover at death’s door, powerless to intervene. These aren’t theoretical discussions about stress management—these are testimonies from men who have walked through the valley of the shadow of death and emerged with hard-won wisdom.

The biblical precedent for such suffering is acknowledged through references to Job sitting in ashes and sackcloth, and Isaiah being sawn in half by a wicked king. The conversation establishes that extreme suffering is not an aberration in the Christian life but a documented reality that requires spiritual resources to navigate.

The Imperative of Action in Crisis

A central theme emerges around the necessity of action rather than passive resignation. The apocryphal story of Brigham Young illustrates this perfectly: when asked by fellow missionaries if they should pray while their boat was being swept away by dangerous rapids, Young supposedly replied, “To hell with prayer—row!”

This isn’t irreverence toward prayer but recognition that God often provides solutions through human action rather than supernatural intervention. Thomas explains the physiological basis for this wisdom: stress hormones are “fight or flight hormones” designed to activate us toward action. When we fail to act, these hormones can create cumulative damage, potentially leading to heart disease and other health problems.

The spiritual parallel is equally important. Thomas draws from his physics background to explain that transitions from one stable state to another require intentional reorganization of elements. “Things don’t automatically go to a place of optimal organization,” he observes. “You’ve got to exercise intention. You’ve got to exercise a plan.”

This connects to Charlie’s account of Charlie Kirk’s approach to obstacles: rather than wallowing in self-pity, Kirk would immediately ask, “God sent this problem for us to solve. How can we solve it?” The focus shifts from the problem’s existence to the possibilities for response.

The Distinction Between Types of Prayer

The conversation reveals a crucial distinction between casual, routine prayer and desperate, whole-hearted crying out to God. Leonard’s testimony about his wife’s near-death experience illustrates this difference powerfully. Facing a situation where medical intervention could do little, Leonard spent an entire night on his knees in a hospital chapel.

“It was more than that,” he explains about his prayer experience. “It was my heart, just like, flipped… I just poured it out. I cried.” The scriptures’ references to people who “cry unto the Lord” take on new meaning—this isn’t casual conversation with deity but desperate, complete surrender of the human will to divine providence.

Thomas validates this experience, noting that the miracles he’s witnessed came not from conventional prayers but from desires so intense they seemed to move the hand of God. “That level of intensity of desire that produces miracles… I think that’s what moves the hand of God.”

This challenges believers to examine the authenticity of their prayer life. Are we offering genuine cries from the heart, or merely going through religious motions?

Spiritual Turning Points and Divine Transformation

Leonard’s testimony provides a powerful example of what he calls a “turning point”—a moment when circumstances force a fundamental reorientation of life priorities. Before his wife’s crisis, he was “all into me and being a designer and doing all this stuff.” He had a good life but lacked a spiritual center.

The crisis forced him to confront his own powerlessness and recognize his need for divine intervention. Like Moses confronted with God’s presence on Sinai, Leonard realized “I’m nothing” and that he needed help beyond human capacity.

This connects to the broader theme that God sometimes uses desperate circumstances to accomplish spiritual transformation that wouldn’t occur through comfortable circumstances. The conversation suggests that such turning points are available to everyone—the question is whether we learn “by precept” (through teaching) or “by sad experience” (through crisis).

The Role of Biblical Grounding in Crisis Response

Armond’s contributions emphasize the importance of being established in God’s word before crisis hits. His quote from Proverbs—”Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established”—provides the foundation for wise decision-making under pressure.

Charlie reinforces this, noting that you must be “in the habit of problem solving with God on your side” to recognize divine guidance when it comes. Without this foundation, “he could suggest ideas till kingdom come, and you might not even recognize them.”

This highlights the importance of spiritual preparation during calm seasons. Crisis is not the time to begin developing biblical literacy or spiritual discernment—these resources must be cultivated beforehand to be available when needed.

Navigating Competing Authorities

Armond’s exposition of Romans 13 and Ephesians 6:12 addresses a crucial issue for believers: how to respond to earthly authorities while maintaining allegiance to divine authority. His insight that there are both “higher powers” and “lower powers” provides a framework for evaluating competing claims to authority.

The text commands submission to “higher powers” while acknowledging that we “wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world.” This suggests that not all authority is worthy of submission—believers must discern which powers represent divine authority and which represent spiritual opposition.

This becomes particularly relevant when government or other institutions demand actions that conflict with biblical principles. The conversation suggests that wholesale submission to authority is not biblical—rather, believers must discern which authorities represent higher powers worthy of submission and which represent lower powers to be resisted.

The Limits of Human Control and the Peace of Surrender

A recurring theme involves accepting the limitations of human control while taking appropriate action within our sphere of influence. Thomas and Isaac’s conversation (referenced but not fully detailed here) apparently concluded that regarding certain stressful situations, “there literally was nothing you could do” about the actual problem.

This doesn’t lead to fatalism but to redirected energy: “We can work. We can actually do something regarding maintaining our own lives. We can support the things that are actually in front of us that need to be done in our lives.”

This wisdom helps believers avoid the trap of worrying about circumstances beyond their control while neglecting responsibilities within their influence. It provides a framework for mental and spiritual health during extended periods of trial.

The Physiology of Faith and Action

Thomas’s insights about stress hormones provide a scientific foundation for biblical wisdom about action. The body’s stress response is designed to activate us toward fight or flight—doing something in response to threat. When we remain passive under stress, these hormones can cause physical damage.

This suggests that spiritual passivity during trial may not only be emotionally unhealthy but physically damaging. The biblical call to “work out your salvation with fear and trembling” takes on new meaning when understood as activation of both spiritual and physical systems toward appropriate response.

The conversation implies that proper spiritual response to stress involves both surrendering outcomes to God and taking vigorous action within our sphere of responsibility. This both honors God’s sovereignty and utilizes the physiological systems He designed for crisis response.

Practical Applications for Believers

Several practical principles emerge from this discussion:

Preparation During Peace: Develop biblical literacy, prayer habits, and spiritual discernment during calm seasons, not during crisis.

Action Over Paralysis: When facing overwhelming circumstances, identify what actions are possible and take them vigorously, even while surrendering ultimate outcomes to God.

Authentic Prayer: Move beyond routine religious expressions to genuine crying out to God when circumstances warrant desperate appeal.

Discerning Authority: Evaluate competing claims to authority by biblical standards rather than automatically submitting to whoever claims power.

Focused Energy: Concentrate effort on responsibilities within your control rather than consuming energy worrying about circumstances beyond your influence.

Community Support: Engage in “revelation by conversation” with other believers who can provide perspective, accountability, and mutual support during trials.

The Ultimate Hope: Divine Intervention Through Human Means

The conversation concludes with recognition that God typically works through human means rather than superseding them. Leonard’s wife was saved through both divine intervention and medical treatment. Charlie Kirk’s obstacles were overcome through both faith and strategic action. The biblical heroes referenced faced their trials through combination of divine grace and human courage.

This provides hope without false expectations. Believers can expect God to work but should anticipate that such work will likely occur through natural means rather than supernatural suspension of normal causation. This requires both faith to believe in divine involvement and wisdom to recognize and cooperate with divine action when it occurs.

The conversation ultimately points toward a mature faith that neither demands miraculous exemption from life’s hardships nor despairs when such hardships arise. Instead, it offers a framework for engaging difficulties with both spiritual resources and practical action, trusting that God is sovereign over outcomes while remaining faithful in our assigned responsibilities.

This balance between divine sovereignty and human responsibility provides a sustainable approach to life’s inevitable challenges, allowing believers to maintain both spiritual equilibrium and practical effectiveness regardless of circumstances.

Marriage Restoration after Betrayal

by | Sep 26, 2025 | Uncategorized

The Crucible of Reconciliation: Pastoral Insights on Marriage Restoration After Betrayal
by Thomas Lee Abshier, ND
9/1/2025

The Weight of Broken Trust

The aftermath of marital infidelity creates one of the most challenging scenarios in relationship restoration. When trust has been shattered through adultery, the path toward reconciliation becomes a treacherous journey requiring supernatural strength, genuine transformation, and unwavering persistence in the face of seemingly insurmountable hostility. This reality was evident in a recent pastoral counseling session where a husband sought guidance on rebuilding his marriage after acknowledging his unfaithfulness.

In this counseling session, we saw the complex dynamics that emerge when one spouse desperately seeks reconciliation while the other responds with consistent attack and rejection. The husband described a cycle where moments of hope—often following prayer for restoration—were immediately met with verbal assault, shame, and condemnation from his wife. This pattern had created a defensive response where he would retreat to “safe places” rather than continuing to engage in what felt like futile attempts at reconciliation.

The Biblical Framework for Restoration

The pastoral counsel centered on several key biblical principles that provide a foundation for genuine restoration. The conversation referenced the teaching on forgiveness found in Matthew 18:22, where Jesus instructs to forgive “seventy times seven,” emphasizing that reconciliation requires unlimited forgiveness from both parties. However, the immediate challenge was that while the husband was seeking forgiveness, the wife was not yet in a position to extend it.

The counsel emphasized that restoration must begin with authentic mourning over sin, drawing from the Beatitude “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). The Amplified Bible’s rendering was particularly relevant: “Blessed are those who mourn for their sins and are mournful about what they have done.” This mourning represents more than regret over consequences—it reflects genuine sorrow over the violation of sacred trust and the harm caused to another person.

The Servant’s Heart as the Path Forward

Central to the pastoral guidance was the principle that “whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant” (Matthew 20:26). The counsel suggested that the only viable path toward reconciliation was for the husband to deeply embrace a servant’s heart toward his wife. This meant moving beyond mere apologies or attempts at self-justification to a genuine transformation of character that prioritizes his wife’s needs above his own desires for forgiveness or restoration.

This servant-hearted approach was described as particularly challenging because traditional avenues for expressing service had been shut down. The wife was not receptive to gestures, communications, or attempts at counseling. The husband faced the difficult task of learning to serve in an environment where his service was actively rejected, requiring him to find ways to demonstrate genuine care without expectation of immediate response or appreciation.

The Testing Ground of Genuine Transformation

The conversation revealed that the wife’s hostile responses, while painful and destructive, might actually serve as a testing ground for the husband’s claimed transformation. Rather than viewing her attacks as obstacles to reconciliation, the pastoral counsel reframed them as opportunities to demonstrate genuine change. The instruction was to respond to evil with good, never returning hostility for hostility, and consistently acknowledging wrongdoing without defending previous actions.

This testing phase was acknowledged as “soul-crushingly difficult,” requiring the husband to stand against overwhelming emotional pressure while maintaining a posture of humility and service. The counsel emphasized that this was not merely a behavioral strategy but required genuine heart transformation—a change so deep that serving his wife’s needs would become natural rather than forced.

The Limitations of Human Effort

A crucial insight emerged regarding the limitations of human effort in achieving marital restoration. The pastoral counsel suggested that the level of transformation required was beyond what could be accomplished through willpower, positive thinking, or commitment alone. Instead, it would require “miraculous heart transformation”—divine intervention to change fundamental patterns of relating that had developed over years of marriage.

This recognition of human limitation was both humbling and liberating. It acknowledged that the husband could not simply “try harder” to become the person his wife needed him to be. The habits and natural responses that had contributed to the marriage’s deterioration were too deeply ingrained to be overcome through human effort alone. This understanding shifted the focus from self-improvement strategies to prayer for supernatural transformation.

The Challenge of Persistent Love

One of the most challenging aspects of the situation was the need to persist in loving actions without any guarantee of a response or even acknowledgment. The husband described instances where he would enter his home hoping for “a glimmer of hope,” only to be met with accusations and hostility. This cycle had created a pattern where he would emotionally withdraw to protect himself from further hurt.

The pastoral counsel addressed this natural self-protective response by emphasizing that genuine love requires persistence even in the face of rejection. The instruction was to continue expressing love and commitment without expecting immediate reciprocation. This meant saying “I love you” sincerely, even when met with contempt, and maintaining a posture of availability for reconciliation, even when that availability was scorned.

Understanding the Wounded Heart

The conversation acknowledged that the wife’s hostile responses were justified on a human level and understandable in light of the deep hurt she had experienced. Still, her behavior was not Godly, in the sense that it was destructive and did not reflect the Biblical principles of forgiveness. However, it also recognized that wounded hearts often respond defensively, and that healing from betrayal is a process that cannot be rushed or forced.

This understanding provided context for the husband’s experience without excusing the wife’s behavior. The counsel suggested that her testing of his sincerity through various trials was a natural response to betrayal, as she sought to determine whether his repentance was genuine or merely a strategy to avoid consequences.

The Role of Prayer in Restoration

Prayer was presented not as a method for changing the wife’s heart—which was beyond the husband’s control—but as a means of seeking the supernatural transformation necessary for him to become the husband she needed. This shift in prayer focus moved from trying to manipulate outcomes to seeking personal transformation and the strength to persevere in love, regardless of the response.

The Long View of Restoration

The pastoral counsel emphasized that restoration would likely be a long process requiring sustained commitment over an extended period. There would be no quick fixes or shortcuts to rebuilding trust that had been thoroughly destroyed. The wife would need to see consistent evidence of genuine change across various situations and circumstances before she could begin to believe that the transformation was authentic rather than temporary.

This long-term perspective required the husband to abandon expectations of immediate results and instead commit to a lifestyle of service and humility that might not produce visible fruit for months or even years. The counsel suggested that this extended timeline was not a flaw in the restoration process, but rather a necessary component of rebuilding trust that had been lost due to the violation.

Conclusion: The Narrow Path of Reconciliation

The conversation revealed that marital restoration after adultery follows a narrow and challenging path that few are willing or able to traverse successfully. It requires a combination of genuine repentance, supernatural transformation, persistent love in the face of hostility, and divine intervention to change hearts that have been hardened by betrayal.

The pastoral counsel provided a roadmap for this journey while acknowledging its difficulty and uncertain outcome. The emphasis throughout was on the husband’s responsibility to focus on his own transformation rather than attempting to control his wife’s response. This approach recognizes that while reconciliation requires the participation of both parties, it must begin with genuine change on the part of the party that caused the breach.

The ultimate message was one of hope tempered by realism—restoration is possible through God’s power, but it requires a level of commitment and transformation that surpasses human capability. For those willing to walk this difficult path, the potential for not just a restored marriage but a transformed relationship offers sufficient motivation to persist through the inevitable trials that lie ahead.

The conversation serves as a reminder that the principles of Biblical restoration—forgiveness, service, transformation, and persistent love—are not merely theoretical concepts but practical requirements for those seeking to rebuild what betrayal has destroyed. While the path is narrow and the requirements demanding, the possibility of genuine restoration remains for those willing to submit to the process of radical personal transformation that such healing requires.